I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
