Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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