I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
