would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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