her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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