great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
our cab driver is having phone sex.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
