If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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