Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
