no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
