Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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