No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He passed out mid-signature
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Hippo gnu deer
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
They have beer where we have blood.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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