I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
