I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
