so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
