i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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