I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize