First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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