I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
