My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Pooping to opera.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
