My Higher Power is John Stamos
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
