I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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