I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Randomize
