I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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