people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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