he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize