I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
