God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize