First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
