he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
