Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
