Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
