Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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