Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just sucked dick on a ferry
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
