Only a mothe r could love this liver
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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