hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
