so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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