Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
