I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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