I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
