just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
When are your genitals available?
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