Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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