Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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