there was a trapeze. enough said
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize