Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
honey bunches of taint.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
