Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
