I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
