Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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