Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just pee around me
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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