Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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