margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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