You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
