Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
