At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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