I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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