I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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