I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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