If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I don't think brook has ever known best
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
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