I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize