Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
be right there i have to get my cape
You had me at "let me see your balls"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
