HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
