Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You can't motorboat a personality
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
