In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
