all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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