I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
