I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
