I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
