I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
