hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You can't special order awesome
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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