I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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