so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He shit in the fireplace
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
